The Route of Resilience

This month I was lucky enough to go to the CIPD Annual North East Conference, where I attended a very engaging seminar on ‘Resilience.’

The discussion highlighted the strong correlation between attitude and resilience, reminding us that everyone has the ability to build resilience.

The ability to build that ‘house of bricks’ in readiness for the big bad wolf to try and knock it down! This wolf can appear in many forms – financial woes, work difficulties or social struggles; whilst the origin of these are most likely out of our control, the way we handle the obstacle is completely within our hands.

We all remember learning to ride a bike, the constant falls and slow building frustration in our Parents eyes.

Did we give up? No.

Children have the most brilliant strain of stubbornness that bores true resilience, yet somehow, the older we get the less brightly this light shines. Is this a case of tainted innocence or dented drive?

As the late, great Bob Marley said, “You never know how strong you are, until being strong is the only choice you have.”

For me, this came with losing both Parents by the age of 21. From being the proverbial pampered princess one day to ‘little girl lost’ the next.

Grief is an unexplainable force which carries the brute force to bring even the most resilient amongst us to their knees. For anyone who has overcome grief, you know the battle is a difficult but beatable one. We fight through because we have to, the loss is unchangeable and irreversible, and therefore we learn to adjust.

So why do so many of us struggle to show the strength in self-believe, self-growth, and self-worth?

Each one of us carries a ‘circle of control’ which includes both what we can control and what we can influence.

However, the majority of us focus on the outer circle, encompassing factors completely outside of our direction. Not only can this affect motivation and self-esteem, but is counter-productive in both individual and team development. Positive change happens when we take control of what we have power over, instead of seeking control over what we don’t.

As my brilliant PT’s mantra goes – do not judge your development on the achievement of others.

And with that motivation ringing in my ears...this week, and during my third run in the last 12 months, I reached an average pace of 7 mins 19 secs per mile. A presumed impossibility for me, until I took control, released my resilience and most importantly believed in the ability to achieve.

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